Why mothers drink...

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to
see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she
saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed
to 'Mom'. With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is
so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
piercing, tattoos, tight Motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is
much older t han I am. But it's not only the passion... Mom, she's
pregnant. Stacy said that we will be Very happy. She owns a trailer in
the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a
dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the
fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for
cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find
a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry
Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that
we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.


Love,
Your son Jon


P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

Courtesy of: Lillian